HOTTIE OF THE DAY
Friday morning I wake up to another beautiful sunrise on the Playa. All is quiet, so I hug myself and get ready to begin working at the DMV; wishing I hadn't stayed up quite so late drinking and having fun with new and old friends.
"Where's the coffee? I need coffee!!!!"
Three cups later it's 9:30. Grits and I have managed to get the boxes of required paperwork moved back to the DMV table and we're starting to give and get hugs and kisses from Hotties showing up for their shifts (what a great perk to the job, we love that Hottie Love).
By 10:00 a.m. the Mutant Vehicles are starting to show up and there are some absolutely beautiful mutations. "Oh my gawd it's a Giant Roach coming to say good morning! Ya gotta love those art car kids from Houston!!"
But no time to visit. I'm busy trying to get the water truck to come through and water our little corner of the Playa before we're covered in dust that the vehicles kick up. "Quick, where is some Hottie shwag to give that sweet man driving the water truck?" (I dig through 3 boxes to find a sticker and a magnet from my personal stash!).
Each team of Hotties is busy viewing the Mutant Vehicles, reviewing licensing requirements, making sure they're safe and going over where to drive or not drive on the Playa. Thank gawd the Hottie team is well trained, cute and fun to hang with.
"Would ya look at that?" Animal Control pulls in to tag us for being naughty animals. But I miss them cuz five people are talking to me at once and the benches are full of people waiting to get licenses. I got one pissed off person that doesn't have a clue (it's a golf cart that looks like a golf cart but has an umbrella attached so it's been modified and why won't I license it?) Well, thirty minutes later trying to explain it still looks like a golf cart and no it's not a staff vehicle and no it's not for a handicap person and no it's not modified and did you read the criteria on the Web site when you sent in your pre-registration? The golf cart left with one pissed off person. Ooohh I can feel the bad karmic vibes he's trying to send me cuz now it's the cart with the fabric tied on that can't understand why we won't give it a license, "Well I don't care what's gonna happen if I drive. Anyway. Other cars are driving. Look at that truck."
"Yeah. Look at it. It's DPW waving at us as they head out to the Playa with a vehicle full of equipment needed for one of the projects that help the citizens of BRC enjoy their experience even more."
Would ya look at the time? Second shift is coming on and we've only seen 47 vehicles so far. But more are coming in and we have to license two vehicles off-site (just too big to get through the streets safely). But quick. More hugs and kisses from the Hotties before I jump on my bike and head over to this great big Carousel Swing that someone in Lamplighter Camp made. It's awesome. I go for a swing and it's a blast. Well, yeah, the tow truck supports the carousel looks like a truck but its interactive with the community, something we love. And it's so much fun. I'm laughing like a little girl again as I swing round and round. Twenty minutes later, paperwork filled out, license on truck, it's back to the DMV while hoping someone, anyone, please have lunch there for me.
DMV is once again a cluster-fuck with fifteen Mutant Vehicles and their drivers awaiting inspection. And the list is growing on how many people we've had to direct to the bus stop. I'm hungry, cranky, and tired of saying 'no' to these great fun-loving people who have worked hard. But their vehicles don't meet the outlined criteria. Thankfully Grits is now dealing with the clueless cart with an umbrella attached so it's been modified. Oh, and by the way, the driver had decided to get as many departments involved in this dispute so the information people around the corner from us have been brought into the discussion too. I roll my eyes, kiss Grits who can handle these situations so much better than I can (it's why I'm the evil twin). I gather up my paperwork and head out to license the Eyes of Gawd.
Wow! These folks are sweet. They gave me an afternoon beverage to quench my thirst while I inspected their vehicle for safety and reviewed the driving guidelines. I can't wait to see it at night. But right now it doesn't have enough lights for nighttime driving when there is no moonlight and I can only issue a day license. I promise to come back at 9pm to give them their night license. Back on the bike to the DMV. I make sure there is nothing the Hotties need but no one there pays any attention to me with all the people hanging around waiting for their license or just needing to sit in the shade cuz it's too darn hot out and we don't want heat stroke. I grab one of the stronger Hotties of the male persuasion to help carry and fill the ice cooler with water and ice. Another shift is coming on but who pays attention when it's been so busy and we're running out of paper registration forms for people to fill out? I wonder if a mandatory pre-registration process will help us manage the paperwork and unlicensibility issues?
Once again, for the fourth time, the golf cart comes in covered in fabric that we would not license earlier. This time the driver says, "Well, I hate to pull the handicap card but this is my camp mate with a broken foot." (Yes, there was a cast and a handicap placard issued by the state Department of Motor Vehicles), "See. We're handicap we need an art car license?"
"Sorry. But all you can have is a handicap sticker. And why didn't you say so before? Cuz this is not a Mutant Vehicle. But yeah, you can have a handicap sticker." All I can think is why are these people wasting our time? Can't they look over at Art Car Camp to see what a Mutant Vehicle is? Okay. I'm getting too negative. I'm tired and cranky and I need a cold beverage. And I still have to go back in an hour to the Eyes of Gawd for their night license. But look! The cars that need a fire license are all starting to gather. AAHHHHHHH!! It's a cluster-fuck of pyro. Thank gawd the Hotties are a great team of trained Hotness, cuz I really can't deal with another person and be positive about why that swag of fur thrown over their motorcycle does not make a Mutant Vehicle.
It's time. I'm off to night license the Eyes of Gawd. But for now I'm sorry, I can't give a night license without more lights at eye level (don't want the altered state people walking into it), and glow sticks won't do the job. "No I can't give you a license based on what your gonna do. I have to see it. Listen I'm tired and cranky. I've been at this since 9:30 this morning. Stop arguing with me and just do it. You have thirty more minutes before the DMV closes for the night."
Back to the DMV. Aahhh a cold beer comes from a lovely sexy woman waiting to get her Mutant Vehicle licensed. Wait! Was that a big pink bunny rolling down the street or am I seeing things? I'm losing it. Too tired of the constant barrage of people asking questions and arguing because they worked for three whole hours altering their vehicle and deserve a license cuz of the fabric. Got to get back on the bike to the Eyes of Gawd. YES! It's got lights, not glow sticks!!! I'm so happy. I can give them a license.
Now its back to the DMV to shut down, pack everything back into boxes, store it all in the storage space allotted to us and then I'm off to home to clean up, KISS my sweetie, and make sure he eats. About an hour later I'm wandering the Playa and encounter the Eyes of Gawd making its maiden night voyage. I'm invited aboard. Then we're off at a snails pace (actually the pace of the spotter on the bicycle in front). I'm having so much fun on board making the eyes blink and wink as we slowly cross the Playa looking at the fabulous art.
By whatever hour I stumble into bed, sleep beckons me and I definitely need it before tomorrow's coffee.